Monday, August 4, 2008
What's going on?
Tonight has been perhaps the hardest for me. I feel like I'm homesick but I'm home. I want so much to be with my Mom. I want to hear her voice and see her. I don't get it. She's been gone for over a week but I'm now feeling the effects. She's gone and I can't grasp that concept. She's supposed to be here. I felt so sorry for my Dad when he told me he was driving home from work for the first time to his house without his wife. But now I'm about to leave for work and I want my Mom to be here when I get back. It's such a crappy thought to know that she won't be here. I hope this feeling will pass soon. I'm anxious, nervous, sick, and above all, mad. Why did this have to happen?
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3 comments:
It is shocking that she is gone. I also feel it deeply. On Sunday, I kept starting to cry out of nowhere. Into my mind came the thought that I need to live my life in a better way: help more people, do more good and keep trying.
Josh, Your mom really taught me a lot. I keep thinking of things I learned from her and I sort of felt like by living my life better, I would be honoring her.
I wish I could tell you it will get better soon, but it probably won't. The first little while is pretty intense. I'm going on 2 yrs out and I still feel my mother's loss keenly and everyday. You will start to feel better, but it always hurts. The lows don't get so low and one day you find yourself starting to really smile again, but it takes a while and everyone takes their own time.
Hopefully time will heal some of the pain. I really can't imagine what your dad is going through. Our prayers are with him.
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