Thursday, June 12, 2008

My First Experience With Chemo

OK. The treatment has begun. My Mom is actually among the (way too many) people who are treating cancer with chemotherapy. I have to tell myself that it could be worse. She could have to go to the hospital 4-5 times a week but she doesn't. She could be bald but she's not and most likely won't be. She is, however, trapped. She's stuck in her chair. She's tethered down to her house by a long plastic oxygen hose. She can't move and has no energy. Yes, it could be worse. But seeing her like this is terrible.

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I know this is hard to look at. I'm sorry.


Today was hard. This is a huge hill to climb but I'm confident the payoff will be worth it. My Mom was sitting in her recliner, her head drooped and her breathing deep for most of the day. I ran a few errands for her but for the most part I just sat with her. She had a few hours where she felt better and she even got up out of her chair to go check her email. That was a shred of hope and I'm really happy that she could muster up a little strength. My sister Dawn was a huge help today. She spent the whole morning with her and she gave her a nice little pep talk. That helped a lot. She also said some very nice things to me and I hope she knows how much a appreciate it. My relationship with my Mom is so great right now. We've always been close but Dawn reinforced just how great we are for each other today. (Thanks Dawn.)

I hope my Mom feels better after this first week of treatment. I just want her to be able to do things without a struggle. I wish I could just take it from her for like a day so she can go on a date with my Dad. She doesn't deserve to feel like this everyday. She has been such a great Mom to all of us and it isn't fair that she is the one going through this. But my hopes are still high that she won't feel like this soon. She is a fighter and she has a great support system behind her. Keep fighting Mom!!! You're the best!

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4 comments:

The Gatherum Family said...

moOkay, if you want to block me so I can't comment, please, feel free... I think it's so great that you are able to stay with her and help her. I love that you are having such a postive attitude and that you are pushing her to fight. As nasty as chemo is, it can and DOES work she just has to let it take effect. That is so hard for you guys to have to see her like that suffering. Keep doing what you are doing, I talked to AManda today and she told me how amazing you are and based on reading your blog, I would agree. I am sending ALL my positive energy and vibes your way...:) Adrian

amanda said...

I love you joshie. keep taking care of mom.

colby said...

josh i am praying as hard as i can for your family. pass a big hello to your mom and dont give up. love you

elder kalian

Debbie said...

Thanks, Josh, for being there right now.