It's getting more and more real that my Mom is weakening. Each day it seems she is more tired and her mood isn't great. Today she had some good visitors which helped keep her happy but we can all see it in her eyes that she is anxious and maybe even a little depressed and I think it's because she feels stuck in her bedroom. Hopefully she can muster up enough strength tomorrow to get a change of scenery. One thing that makes her happy these days is a nice foot massage. Since she can't recline or put her feet up, due to pressure in her lungs, her legs and feet are starting to swell up. So it soothes her to have a foot rub and her kids and grandkids have no problem helping her out. Her grandson, Tobe gave her one the other day and thought it was really fun. He's such a sweet kid who genuinely loves his "Magga!"
My Mom's hospice nurse "Valorie" (her name is actually Andrea but my Mom keeps calling her Valorie for some reason : ) came over today to check up on her and, though I'm glad she doesn't sugar coat anything, gave us news that was... discouraging. She asked us what was more important; Quality of life? Or time? We'd like both please. 10 years at least with no pain, discomfort, or weakness. Is that OK? Can we have that? I know that it's good to prepare for reality of the present but I'm still kind of holding out for that miracle. I know, I know, my mood is up and down like I'm bipolar or something but I'll never give up that little shred of hope I've been carrying with me and Mom.... keep praying for that miracle too. : )
6 comments:
You put thoughts into words so well...it IS a total double edged sword. Time is invaluable, but seeing someone you love suffer just about kills those who are watching. Is there any way to move your mom downstairs to a more central location so she isn't so isolated upstairs? I know that my dad always carried my mom downstairs while she was in hospice and she loved being with us. Just a thought. Hope you guys are doing okay, as well as you can under such stress, strain, heartache and circumstance. You are in my thoughts and prayers CONSTANTLY.
That is a cute picture of Tobe.
I think we all have that glimmer of hope still. I try to prepare myself for what we are told is going to happen but I still have hope. I still can't believe this is happening.
Try to help dad get her downstairs today. She needs it and she even said she'd like to. That'll help.
What a journey this is...
Hope is all we have. If we don't keep hoping then it seems we quit or gave up. Mom and Dad didn't raise "quitters". They did raise "planners" though, so we are prepared for whatever happens yet, never giving up.
We will be there soon and somehow we will get her down those dang stairs.
See you soon
It would probably be a good thing for her to get out of her room for a change of scenery. So many people I have talked to that have read your blog, say how beautiful your mom is. Hope and pray still, that she feels peace and some contentment at this time.
My computer crashed. A man came to fix it, but couldn't. It is only 18 months old, but purchased at Compusa which is out of business nationwide. Bummer! Anyway, I came to the library because I must read your blog, Josh. When I called today she was resting. I agree with the change of scene idea. I hope she can get that this weekend. It will envigorate her. Much love!
Those stink' stairs. They were a problem for my mom too. I always dreaded hospice visits. They are such a wonderful service and help so much but at the same time, they are a glaring reminder of how bad things are. Please know that no matter what happens, no one in your family gave up and your mom will never lose her battle. She has not let these terrible circumstances change the wonderful, beautiful woman, wife, and mother that she is. And you guys have stood together behind her and fought for every ounce of faith and strength that you could get. So, in my book, there is no giving up or losing for your family only faith, hope, and "thy will be done." I too think of you all the time and keep in prayer in my heart for your mom and your family. You all amaze me daily with your strength.
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