I just got home from a terrible night of work that completely brought me down but I can still say that today was a good day. I was awakened by my wife Megan at about 7:00 AM. She told me to go stay with my Mom in her room in case she needed help. I obeyed my orders and Megan finished getting ready for work. When she came in to say goodbye to us, we were both passed out. I woke up a few times to help my Mom to the bathroom but we both pretty much slept til about 10:30. I remember thinking it was a bummer that I missed "The Price is Right" when i woke up. I helped my Mom with a few more things like brushing her teeth and plunging the toilet but soon the house was full again and my sisters came to help Mom in their unique ways. Dawn helped her write some birthday cards and took more notes from what the hospice nurse was saying, Jenn gave her another long foot massage, and Amanda helped me run some errands for her. I, again, was in and out of the house and when I was home, I was really sleepy so I missed out on some good "Mom time" but that's ok. She was tired for most of the day but seemed content and at peace. No anxiety or depression. It was a good day.
For some reason this morning brought me back to about a month ago, when I would just sit, talk, and sometimes nap, one-on-one, with my Mom. I loved that. Even though I wasn't doing much, she knew that I was there for her. I felt like I was helping a little. Now that things are different and time is all we have, it seems that everybody wants a peice for themselves. Visitation has increased and my sisters are doing all they can to help out and get some time in. I just feel so lucky that I got so much time for myself in the beginning. I want all my sisters and my Brother to feel that way with her if they haven't already. I'll even take their kids from them for a few hours if they want. (Yeah I said it. Hold me to it. I'm not afraid.) I hope they all know how much I love them. They have helped me through this crappy time and I really appreciate everything they do. Well, this computer screen is getting blurry and that oxygen machine behind me is putting me to sleep so I think I'm done. Thanks again to everybody.
5 comments:
I laughed out loud about you missing the price is right. Good old Bob Barker, gotta miss him right? Anyways, I am glad that you feel like you have and ARE doing something, more then you will EVER know, for your mom. She knows it and I promise you will ALWAYS cherish the memories and service you are making and giving to her in her time of need. Time is truly the most valuable gift any of us have, especially in these situations. Hope today is another good day.
You are so sweet Josh. I am excited to get my one on one time today but maybe I'll still take you up on the babysitting offer:) Just kidding, you always are so good to watch them.
It seems like reality is sinking in a bit and it's is now ok to talk about it. I want to ask mom many things and tell her so much. Hopefully I'll get that today.
Well, this epistle comes from sunny California...yes your old cousin Jillie Ann. Tried posting last week but did something wrong and lost all my thoughts with the punch of a key. Hey Kathy, love all the pictures that Josh posts. You are as beautiful as always...time has been good to you, not like some of us other old gals.
Josh, I want to thank you for doing this blog. Fredie and Kathy were always there for me when it came to my Mom and Dad and I always tried to be there for them when we had our challenges with Earl and Ruth. Being able to read your daily log helps me to feel like I am there in some way. Kathy, I wish I could be there to rub your feet, talk your ear off, experience some of my rotten cooking or bring George with me to cook for you. Your cooking is hard to beat. To spend some special time with you like the other lucky ones are doing.
I am so touched with your kids and the support they are giving you. You have been a wonderful mother teaching your children to walk in the way of the Lord.....yes Fredie, you get some credit too. They are certainly your jewels in your crown. I had never thought of it that way until I heard Aunt Mayme's kids refer to her jewels.
I do have some good news, I am coming up to Utah with Tracy and Logan, my grandson. We are taking the train on July 31st and will be in Draper on Sat. Aug 2nd. So rest up and we will have a great visit at that time.
I pray each night that you will have peace and happiness at this time....and comfort too.
Love ya,
Jillie Ann
Wow...this is all very surreal...I read about 4 posts today...I love that your mom called the nurse "Valorie"...I felt the ups and downs as you kind of laid out your mom's current progress...and I felt pretty connected to you on your post about the prayer...you are such a vunerable writer Josh...I can't help but feel connected to the insecurites and hope that you have...thanks for writing this blog during such a difficult and moving time in your life...I am here to support you and your Mom any way possible...thanks for being a spiritual example to me Josh...
I can't believe it took me this long to realize you had a new post. Especially a post offering babysitting.
Big Smiles from me!! :0)
One on One time is great but it is also nice to sit with others and listen.
I have loved every moment with my mom & wouldn't trade it for the world. I just wish we all would have taken time to ask the hard questions, when she wasn't sick & when it wouldn't have been hard. Each day is a gift. I am so grateful for each day I have to spend with my mom.
Thanks for letting Mackay sleep over. He is looking forward to this so much. I am glad you and Megan moved in to help these things, like little sleepovers, take place. Thanks!
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