Sunday Parties...

I am still recovering from last night. I had another little melt down after helping my Mom into bed. First of all She had a huge day. It was another big family party for Adam's, Aly's and Steph's birthday. Adam made a huge feast for us. Carne Asada! It was awesome. Then we had a piñata for the little kids. It was fun. We wheeled my Mom out to the hall again for dinner. She stayed there all night and though she is in a lot of discomfort, she doesn't let it stop her from spending time with the people she loves. After the party was over and the night was winding down, we said a family prayer and everyone left.


Happy Birthday Aly

Kami smashing the piñata

Mom chillin with her daughters

After the party we helped her into her bed. I love to do this for her but I hate to watch her struggle. She decided to walk from her bathroom to the bed because getting in and out of the wheelchair is too much of an ordeal. But walking for her isn't much better. Her whole lower half is so swollen. Her stomach, legs and feet have become too big for any comfort. She has to take tiny steps and and the look of pain is so apparent in her face with each step. My Dad and I helped her into bed but it's so hard for her and it took a little longer than usual. When we finally got her in an upright position she could barely catch her breath. She was in a lot of pain. Megan gave her a hug and said good night. I just stood there and the tears in my eyes were too much to fight back. "Oh Mom??" was all I could say as a ran to hug her and that feeling came over me again where I felt like a little kid whose Mom is leaving them with a babysitter or something and in their little minds they think "I'm never going to see Mom again!!!" And they cry and cling to her and never want to let go. I remember doing that as a child but I never thought I'd feel that again in my twenties. I hugged her forever and just kept saying, "Mom I don't want you to die. Please don't die...." She responded without pain in her voice anymore but with motherish comfort, "I don't want to die either Josh, but I have to and I'm really sorry but you'll be OK." I couldn't let go. This time my tears were all over her shirt. I cleared my head and let her go. I said goodnight and left her with my Dad who was now crying. I crashed on my bed.